Artists must be selfish to succeed

Art, Ego, and the Cost of Greatness

A photographer was chatting with one of my collectors recently and mentioned their discussion about how terrible I am at self-promotion.

It is true. I am much better at promoting everyone else.

My priorities shifted completely the day I gave birth to my miracle. Looking into my newborn son's eyes, I realized my finest creation was right in front of me. All my drawings, paintings, singing, and dancing paled in comparison to my perfect boy.

For the first few years of his life, we spent almost all our time together, usually alone. I introduced him to nature, yoga, dance, music, and art. We ate natural food, stayed away from toxic environments and behaviors, and kept good company. It was a beautiful, simple time. I earned a living making art, practicing calligraphy, and teaching classes at community centers.

The Myth of the Single-Minded Genius

Over the years, I have known many successful artists who are childless, or who left their children behind and have never lived with or near them.

One artist once told me he left his infant daughter to focus on fashion photography, remarking that "you can't get ahead in the fashion industry unless you're single." He walked away from being a stay-at-home dad to chase fame, fortune, and shallow distractions. Another daughter of his lives thousands of miles away, and he has never shared a home with her.

When my son's father left Canada to open a gallery in New Mexico, I still made sure our son called him every single Father's Day. They had an incredible time together when our boy turned 18 and they finally lived under the same roof for two years. All boys need their fathers.

People Over Pedestals

The truth is, people are far more important than one's ego. In my view, all unnecessary suffering stems from self-cherishing.

Consider Pablo Picasso: he left behind a monumental body of work and fundamentally changed the course of modern art, but he also left a personal legacy of pain, destruction, and madness in his wake.

I don't want to be remembered as a great artist if it means I have to be a monster to achieve it. Give me a quiet life, a handful of good memories, and the knowledge that I prioritized love over a monument.